Before this next rant, I would just like to make one thing clear , reading our last exercises of cathartic expression it seems that we are waging our own "War on Terror" on the fine denizens of the Levant.... let me be the first to clear things up... NO ONE IS SAFE ! So dispel any notions you might have that we are... for the lack of a more inappropriate word .... Racist ! Actually not only are we racist but we are sexist, creaturist, elitist and extra terrestrialist. So once again NO ONE IS SAFE ! If there is a new species or extra terrestrial life form that is discovered rest assured that jokes will be born , au naturel.
On that note without much futher ado about nothing ....
New Asia , where are all the Asians ?
New Asia Bar: swanky, classy, house music but not the good kind, mini skirts, drinks fit for royalty ( just price wise) and of course a place for Dubai's very own buttonly challenged to congregate in a proverbial table/bottle measuring contest. I feel this doesn't paint a vivid enough picture so I present to you :
Shoo you think you can party ? The only reality show worth watching.
Disclaimer : The characters in this show are as real as global warming, and bear resemblance to a majority of the population of this city, there is absolutely no coincidence here because it is intended. No Tree Dwellers we harmed during the witnessing of this show.
Elie 1 ( shockingly enough , top three buttons missing, hair of a chestal nature in all its glory): Shoo ? No one is looking at me , how can I get more attention ? Ahh oui ... If i order a large bottle of Moet and hold my glass in the air and move around that should work.
Elie 2 also thinking to himself ( yes that top button crime spree is spreading fast): Shoo !?! Look at that guy... kisikhtak ! There are more people around the area of his table..... Bien Sur ! I'll order a Magnum bottle of Dom Perignon as well as a flaming sambucca, this way I can hold the glass as well as the shot glass in the air and move around!
An so on and so forth, if there was one word I could use to describe New Asia it would have to be an incubator.
An Incubator is an apparatus where pre-mature infants are kept in a controlled environment for protection and care. It makes sense (especially since I came up with the analogy) and because of all the underdeveloped conversational and thinking skills , only in an environment like this would the " The Tree Dwellers" (as Quillock so aptly named them) flourish and be protected from depth and substance ( not the kind we all like to abuse).
However I will say this New Asia bar is a testament to showcasing the wonders of minimalist material use. In the words of the eternal and occasionally brilliant Joey Tribianni " It's amazing how they can do so much with so little material".
I need a drink !